You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
