Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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