Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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