Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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