please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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