Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
