He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
