Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
