is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
