her vagine was all disorganized.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
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I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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