Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
