I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
