Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize