I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
