wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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