he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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