I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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