he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
