i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
