and you said cock pushups were impossible
is wine microwaveable?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
