So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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