That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
