Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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