You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
