Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
