I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
