You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me