And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
