It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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