This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
