youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
