I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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