I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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