She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
