Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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