You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
