I could make wine with my vomit
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
