are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
whose ass print is on the piano?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
