Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
