I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
