This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
