so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
