No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
sex in a hospital.. check
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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