i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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