Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
