Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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