white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
