My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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