he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
