"it" just moved
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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