Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
