So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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