yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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