Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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