You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
