you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Who died my cat blue again?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
