Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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