i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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