Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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