I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?