i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
