So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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