Will you blow on my dice?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
